I Love You Silently
by SandyBeckman
Summary: Raven black hair, different colored eyes, pale skin, delicate features and natural rose red lips. Angela Gwendolyn Bancroft was easily the most beautiful girl Sirius Black had ever seen. He knows she carries a lot more baggage than she should and she's tough, resilient, but terribly broken. And no matter what anyone says, he will always love her, even if he loves her silently.
1. Chapter 1

James was ranting about Lily (again) Sirius thought about someone else.  
Angela.  
Merlin, Angela.  
She had the most beautiful smile, the most beautiful personality, she was probably the most beautiful person Sirius had ever met. She had long, straight brown hair, and the most mesmerizing electric blue eyes. He remembered his dream last night. She was kissing him, and she was holding his hand. Sirius smiled. He wanted that to be true so badly...  
"Look, Padfoot's smiling-" James laughed.  
"Shut the hell up, James."  
"Whatcha smiling about?"  
"Nothing,"  
"Padfoot..."  
"I said nothing, Prongs. What part of that do you not understand?"  
"C'mon, Sirius. I know you don't just randomly smile in the middle of my rants."  
Remus immediately got up and went down to the common room. Peter followed suit, slightly confused about Remus' sudden leave.  
James grinned with admiration as Remus looked back and nodded once.  
"Sirius Black, what has gotten into you?"  
"James..."  
"Padfoot, the answer can't be nothing,"  
"You know how basically every girl is head over heels for me?"  
"Don't show off, Padfoot." James paused. "But, yes. Go on."  
"Well, there's this one girl..."  
James wolf whistled. "Wow! Looks like someone is in love..."  
"Lemme continue. As I was saying..." Sirius paused thinking about her. "She's beautiful. Inside and out. She helps the first years, and is kind to everyone, she has the most brilliant blue eyes-"  
"Sirius, what are you doing? Who is this person-"  
"Angela."  
"Oh. Oh, Merlin."  
"She's my friend! She's my best friend. What do I do..."  
"Get her to listen to ACDC, she'll love you,"  
Sirius grinned. "She loves ACDC. I can surprise her tonight."  
"I'm going to see if Lily's down in the common room,"  
"Good luck!" Sirius called.  
Prepping up his record player, he began to think about her again.  
Merlin's beard, those electric blue eyes...

 **Simple, short, introductory passage. Hope you enjoyed! Plz R &R.**

 **-Sandy**


	2. Chapter 2

3 hours later...

"Sirius?! Come on, what is it?"  
"Wait..." Sirius saw her try to get the blindfold off, but he tied it tighter. "Angela, it won't be a surprise!"  
"Fine."  
Sirius couldn't hold himself from staring at her. Her lips, naturally red, her skin, her beautiful brown hair that lay straight-  
"Sirius! Hurry up!"  
"Okay!"  
He quickly prepared the record and turned it on, watching her.  
He smiled as he saw the look of awe on her face.  
"Holy mother of Merlin!" Angela gasped. "ACDC! Merlin, Sirius! ACDC! Thank you-"  
She bent forward to kiss him on the cheek, but it didn't do as planned. She reached for him and kissed him- on the lips.  
Sirius lingered, and when they broke apart, Angela was slightly red faced.  
"Was that-"  
"My lips. Yeah."  
"I'm sorry-I-I didn't know-"  
Sirius watched her put her head down, embarrassed.  
Sirius came close to her and untied the blindfold. Angela blinked and saw Sirius tucking her bangs out of her face.  
"I'm sorry, Sirius, I couldn't see anything-"  
"That's fine." He bent forward to give her a hug. He took a deep breath and smelled the beautiful scent that he smelled in Amortentia, lavender and roses. "It's okay,"  
"Sirius, are you okay? You seem to be very down," Angela paused. "Is it because of your date yesterday?"  
"Yes." Sirius turned his head and rested his cheek on her shoulder. "I don't know. She's another one who only likes my face and not me." Sirius closed his eyes. "They all only like my face,"  
"You'll find the perfect girl one day," Angela reassured, ruffling his hair.  
I already have, Sirius thought.  
"Let's go down, I'm hungry," Angela said, breaking away from the hug.  
"I don't want to go,"  
"Sirius..."  
"I'll get something from the kitchens. You stay here."  
"Okay,"  
Sirius quickly went down and saw the common room empty. Everyone was at dinner.  
Sirius ran to the kitchens, tickled the pear, and got two large platefuls of food. He ran back (accidentally dropping some treacle tart) and went up to the boy's dormitories.  
Angela was there, reading her favorite book, Quidditch Through the Ages.  
"Hello!"  
"Hey,"  
Sirius gave her a plate and they talked.  
"Sirius?"  
"Hmm?"  
"What if you set up some standards?"  
"Standards?"  
"All the girls you've dated so far were terrible," she pointed out. "Have a set of standards so that you don't mess up this time."  
"Huh. I never thought of that before."  
Angela grabbed a quill and parchment and got ready to write.  
"Okay, go."  
"She has to be the most beautiful lady I've ever seen," he paused.  
"Like you," he whispered.  
"Okay," Angela blushed, but she tried to hide it. "Next!"  
"They have to be adorable,"  
"How so?"  
"Like how you crinkle your nose slightly when you are in deep thought,"  
"Oh..." Angela blushed again, but she scribbled it down as fast as she could. "Alright, next!"  
"They have to love dogs,"  
"Dogs?!"  
"I remember when you cared for that black dog earlier."  
"You weren't even there! I wanted to show you, he was so adorable-"  
"Anyways," Sirius said. "She should...she should have a good sense of humor. Like when you pulled that prank on James-"  
"That was so funny! There was goo everywhere!"  
"And... they can't be overly smart. They should have some sense, though,"  
"Some sense..."  
"They must love Quidditch. Like you,"  
"Mhmm,"  
"They must have good traits, like being kind and compassionate,"  
"I think that's it," Angela put down her quill.  
"Pretty-"  
"No," Sirius interrupted. "Prettiest girl I've ever seen,"  
"Fine, okay. Prettiest girl you've ever seen, adorable, loves dogs, good sense of humor, loves Quidditch, and has good traits."  
"Well," Sirius said, smiling. "There's only one girl I know who fits all of these things."  
"Who?"  
"I'll..." Sirius smiled a smug smile.  
"Uh oh," Angela said.  
"The lucky girl will get kissed by me tomorrow in the common room after the Quidditch match."  
Angela gaped at him. "What if the girl doesn't consent?"  
"The girl I'm talking about will probably love it,"  
"To be honest, every girl will want to be kissed in public by Sirius Black."  
Sirius laughed. He watched as she flipped her hair and put it to the side. He wanted to tuck her hair to one side, nuzzle into her neck, give her another hug...  
"Good night, Angela,"  
"Good night,"  
Angela left the room, leaving Sirius to smile at the night's events.

 **Again, short and sweet. Hope you enjoyed :)**

 **Also, a shout out to .requested! Their bio is great and I love it :D. And thnx for the review. Short, sweet, and nice.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'M REALLY SORRY!**

 **I've been busy, but here it is! :D Enjoy**

Sirius woke up with the faint scent of rose and lavender still on his pillow. He sighed. It was truly a lovely smell. Then he remembered.

"Quidditch! Shit- Merlin's beard!"

He rushed to the locker room and saw Angela there to greet him at the door.

"Here-" she handed him all of his things. "Uniform, broom. I have your breakfast, eat."

"I love you, Angela," Sirius whispered to himself.

"Quick! The match starts soon!"

Sirius changed into his Quidditch uniform and grabbed his broom.

James smiled as Sirius came up to him.

"Merlin, Padfoot, you sleep so soundly!"

"James! Why didn't you wake me?"

"Dreaming about your angel?"

They both looked at Angela, who was putting her hair up in a ponytail.

"I wanna tell her today. I wanna kiss her today."

"What the fu-"

"Shut up! I'm doing it, it's a long story. I'll tell you later."

"Merlin, Sirius. That escalated quickly-"

"The match is starting!" Angela said, mounting her broom.

Sirius kicked off, watching as Angela rose up to the sky to look for the Snitch. He saw the rush of green on the opposing side. His brother, Regulus, was Seeker for the Slytherin team.

The game was a blur. It wasn't long before the score was tied.

"It's 160 to 160!" yelled the commentator.

Sirius saw the Quaffle being tossed to him; he caught it and went to the other end of the hoops-

Suddenly, he heard a painful scream. Sirius turned around, and to his horror, saw Angela, with blood trickling down her mouth. She was concentrating on the little golden ball and reached for it. She caught it with both hands and fell off her broom, crashing on the grass.

"GRYFFINDOR WINS! ANGELA BANCROFT HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH!"

Sirius landed immediately and lay Angela's head on his lap.

"Are you alright?"

"Ow," she mumbled.

"What happened?" James rushed.

"'udger hit 'outh,"

"I'm getting you to the hospital wing," Sirius gently lifted her and carried her bridal style all the way to the hospital wing. James grinned.

As Madam Pomfrey tended for her, Sirius was at her bedside the whole time. He fell asleep and felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Sirius. Wake up."

James came in, sitting next to him.

"She'll be fine, Padfoot."

"She's hurt! A Bludger in the mouth is really painful-"

"Sirius Orion Black. Listen to me. This isn't that disastrous." James grinned as Sirius held her hand. "You really like her, don't you?"

Sirius looked at her. Her right cheek was swelling. Her mouth was open and she was snoring.

"What's going on in the common room?" Sirius asked, changing the subject.

"Girls crying. Not Lily, though." James added hastily.

"What? Why?"

James laughed. "They all think you're taken. You know, carrying Angela all the way up here..."

"I don't give a damn about them,"

"The team is waiting for you two," James said, standing up. He pushed his glasses upward. "Should I tell them you're coming?"

"Tell them I'll be there soon,"

After waiting a little while longer, Angela stirred.

"Mmph," she mumbled, blinking.

"Angela!"

She stretched and sat up. She rubbed her eyes and saw Sirius. "Why are you here? You didn't have to stay-"

"Angela, you're my best friend. Of course, I have to stay!"

"That bludger came out of nowhere," Angela said.

Sirius cautiously rested his hand on Angela's swollen cheek.

"Ouch!" Angela yelped.

"Sorry!"

"It's fine! Don't worry about Pomfrey said I needed a potion to clear the swelling. So you can go..." she ignored Sirius' protests. "... you can change and come back, I'll be done by then!"

"Fine," Sirius grumbled. "I'll be back in a minute,"


	4. AN

**I feel really bad. I'M SORRY I'm lazy and I can't update fast :(**

 **I will post the next chapters (yes, CHAPTERS) sometime this week. I'm almost done with them.**

 **Thanks a lot for being patient :) I'm gonna try to update at least every 2 weeks or at most 2 months.**

 **AND I NEED REVIEWS. I have 103 views but 1 review. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me if this is good, bad, stupid, awesome...I really don't care! I need SOMETHING before I go insane!**

 **Again, thanks for staying. You guys are great!**

 **-Sandy**


	5. Chapter 4

Sirius changed quickly and ran to the hospital wing.

When he got there, Angela was already changed and ready to go. Her back was to the door, and Madam Pomfrey waved her off.

Before Angela could turn around, Sirius put his hands on her eyes.

"Hey!"

"Hey Angel," Sirius whispered in her ear.

"Let me see, you insufferable prat!"

Sirius let go and Angela turned around. She laughed and gave him a hug.

"Padfoot, I'm fine now, so don't be a worrywart. Let's go to the common room, I'm hungry. I bet there's a great party going on!"

"Ok,"

The Gryffindor common room wasn't far from the Hospital Wing, but Sirius couldn't keep his eyes off Angela. She didn't seem to realize it, but she was an extremely pretty girl. Her electric blue eyes glimmered with warmth, and her lips were a natural red, which was rare for people in general.

"Abstinence," Angela said to the Fat Lady when they arrived.

The common room opened to a roar of celebration. Food, fun, and joy all seemed to be present. Angela smiled at the compliments she was given. She was hoisted in the air for her great catch. Sirius, again, couldn't stop observing her. Her smile was radiant, and nobody could deny it.

Despite the claim he made yesterday, he couldn't bring himself to kiss her, even though his heart wanted to. He just sat and observed instead. James and Remus noticed his silence and went over to him. They were about to call Peter, but he was busy eating. They looked at each other and then to Sirius. In any celebration, he was usually the life and soul of the party.

"What's wrong, Padfoot?" James asked, walking over.

"Don't say 'nothing', Sirius, we know something's up." Remus added.

"I...I don't know," Sirius said, waving them off. "Just tired, nothing much-"

James and Remus looked at each other. Something was definitely wrong. They had never heard their friend stammer or not join a party.

"Sirius." James intervened. "What's up?" Remus pushed.

"I can't do it." Sirius said, shaking his head.

"What do you mean-" Remus asked in confusion, but he carried on.

"I tried, Merlin, I can't ignore my feelings-"

"Who are you talking about?" Remus asked again.

"Angela."

"Angela Bancroft? THE Angela?" Remus frowned.

"How many other Angelas are there?"

"Well, you're gonna want to act fast. She's been asked out by a lot of guys..."

"Thanks, Prongs. I really needed that." Sirius said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

James ran his hand through his hair. "Why don't you just ask her?"

"She's my best friend! Telling her could ruin absolutely everything!"

"Everything?" James asked. "Lily really loves me now..."

"She wasn't your friend before," Sirius mumbled.

"You won't know until you try..." James said, waggling his eyebrows.

"I say that to you all the time, you moose. Are you quoting me to me?"

"I can quote you to you, you dog," James smiled.

They left him to think.

After looking around, he realized she wasn't in the common room. He went up to Remus and James (Peter was filling his plate again) and whispered, "She's not here, I'm going."

James smiled. "Don't worry, mate."

Sirius gave him a nod and walked out of the portrait hole. He wandered around Hogwarts for a long time (it was a big place) and he thought about Angela. It was nice to just take a walk without any girls batting their eyelashes.

What was nice about Angela was that she understood Sirius. She knew wasn't always the flirty, prankster guy. He was disowned by his family, he was an outcast from home. She always knew there was more behind his stormy, grey eyes. They told each other everything (well, not everything...). Sirius was still in denial. His head was telling him to back off, but his heart was telling him to go for it. James said he should confront her... but Remus just frowned. Or maybe it was just him. He honestly didn't know

He wandered off to the Astronomy tower. Sirius remembered they always came here to talk.

Angela was there, and her back was turned, looking out into the distance. Her hair floated a little in the breeze.

"Hey, Angela."

She turned around and saw Sirius. She smiled.

"Hi, Sirius." she kept looking at the view.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked. He was about to put a hand on her shoulder, but he pulled his hand back.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just come here to think." Angela smiled. "Well, you already know that..."

There was a peaceful silence between them.

Angela sat down and Sirius did, too. He sat cross-legged and after Sirius fiddled with her hair, a habit he had for a long, long time.

After some more silence, Angela remembered something.

"Sirius! Who was the girl you were supposed to kiss today?"

He could hear himself screaming.

Do it now!

"I...I couldn't do it."

A pause.

"Sirius! What has gotten into you lately?"

"I dunno, Angie-"

"What do you mean?" She looked very concerned. "Something's wrong and you're not telling me."

"I tell you everything." he shrugged.

She raised her eyebrows. This was the one time he didn't want Angela to know him so well. She immediately knew something was up.

"Hey, um, I'm going to use the loo..." Angela got up and left.

This time Sirius raised his eyebrows. Where was she going?

 **A/N**

 **THANKS A TON TO she-who-loves-fanfiction! That review made my day! Her stories are also really good, go check them out :)**

 **I'll try my very best to update at least once every 2 weeks. Also, if you have any suggestions, please review or PM! I'd love to add them here.**

 **Until next time,**

 **Sandy**


	6. I'M BACK

**It has been wayyyyy too long. Mother of god... a lot of shit went down and WHOO I need to write!**

 **Again, I'm sorry for abandoning this. For like a century. I SWEAR I will update regularly now. Every 2 weeks is my goal and I hope to reach it :)**

 **But wow. I have 527 reads now :D**

 **Thanks for all of this.**

 **Just WOW. I know it's not a lot but I don't even know 527 people and to think that they actually even glanced at this is just insane. (sorry for the run on)**

 **But my AwEsOmE readers, know this:**

 **I AM BACK and I AM READY to make this story fluffy and angsty and BrILLiant ALL in the same time and I will make sure you enjoy every second.**

 **Until next time,**

 **Sandy**


	7. Chapter 5

Angela walked down the Astronomy Tower and wondered about the current events in confusion. It was only a Bludger- true, it hurt and it was pretty bloody, but considering it was the beginning of the season, she would get hit a lot of times. She was known for getting pummeled in Quidditch anyways. At this rate, Sirius would die of panic. She snorted at the amount of fear in his face. It was very nice, actually. It was nothing compared to-

She shook her head. That was not a topic to think about.

She took a rubber band from her wrist and put her hair in a high ponytail before she told the Fat Lady the password (She had to say "pulchritudo" many times before the portrait grumpily woke up and let her in) and she walked in on James, Remus, and Lily having a serious discussion. The victory party seemed to have died out a long time ago- through some Gryffindors in the corner were still near the banner and eating the leftover food.

They all looked up at Angela and immediately clammed up.

"If you think I'm not gonna ask about this, you're wrong," Angela said with an eyebrow raised and arms crossed.

"Well you see-" Lily began.

"It's actually, um-" Remus interjected.

"Nothing," James ended quickly.

"I don't believe it, what is going on?" she said with skepticism.

Angela had come to ask them what was going on with Sirius, but it turned out that she had another mission in mind.

After their drawn-out silence, she burst- "I'm not an idiot, anyone can tell you're talking about something that clearly doesn't-" Her eyes flared to a deep green and a strange glow seemed to emit from her as her hands trembled-

"Angela!" Remus sprung up from his chair and went forward to console her.

She seemed to come back to reality. She fell on her knees in a dejected state. Her hands were still trembling. "What's happening to me?" She took a deep breath. "That was such an irrelevant thing, I can't even leave you in peace anymore,"

"Angela, you're a powerful witch," Lily said coming forward and sitting on the floor with her. "Something's just affecting your magical abilities," she looked up at Remus and James, and after James gave her a curt nod, she asked firmly, "Angela, if someone is doing anything to you, tell us."

"No... " she was distant, lost, and looked exhausted despite her energy entering the common room. "No one's doing anything," she hurriedly went up the steps to the girl's dorms. "Tell Sirius I was tired, he's gonna come in here worried as hell,"

Her footsteps penetrated the silence the ensued as Remus, James, and Lily exchanged glances.

"She's a terrible liar," James said once she was out of earshot. "Not the Sirius part, I dunno what that's about, but the 'No one's doing anything to me' part,"

"Well, I read everything I could get my hands on and the only thing that could be unleashed is an Obscurus," Lily said, sitting in the chair across from the pair of boys. "But she's not suppressing her magic, she's unleashing it, which makes it a much more confusing case..."

"Should we tell Siriu-"

"He doesn't know?!" James himself had found out about her fleeting episodes recently, but the fact that her closest companion didn't know was quite incredulous.

"No, of course not!" Remus replied again. "She wanted to keep this entire thing to herself anyway." He thought for some time before speaking again. "They both come from similar backgrounds, but the Bancrofts are ruthless...Sirius ran away and they pretty much celebrated. But if they inflicted something on Angela I wouldn't be surprised...the like torturing traitors, blood-related or not,"

They let the statement sink in before Lily spoke again.

"Now what?"

"I...I don't know," James took off his glasses and cleaned them against his robes. "I reckon we should tell Sirius," When Lily and Remus looked at him with wide eyes, he retorted, "What? He's probably the only person who can get some answers without force," He put his glasses back on.

Just then the Portrait hole opened with a loud smack and Sirius came in a state a panic. "Angela...gone," he panted and took a gasp of breath. "Did she-"

"She just went to her dorm, " Lily said calmly. "She looked exhausted,"

"...oh," Sirius' expression was blank, but his eyes had a mix of hurt that no one could pinpoint.

"Sirius, we have to say some-"

"No worries, she must've been tired," Sirius said finally.

"...G'night, then." Lily hurried up her dorm steps, escaping the tension, despite the early hour.

"...G'night, my flower," James smirked, ruffling his hair.

" _Shut your arse_ , Potter."

Lily saw Angela lying on her bed (Lily knew she was awake but left her alone) and Lily got into bed herself. The prejudice, the discriminative slurs, the reason why Angela even had these outbursts in the first place was that of Voldemort and his beliefs, Death Eaters… and she lost her best friend because of their values.

And on top of looming ideas of a war, James pestered her more and more. And yet she could see that he was truly a nice guy…his brotherly concern for Angela was very adorable-

She huffed. She was _not_ falling for James Potter. _No, no. no_.

With conflicting thoughts, Lily fell asleep with Angela lying awake beside her.


End file.
